Saturday, November 18, 2006

spychology and Dr.Lastwave strange patients - Mr.Mike and Mr.Shub

I met Dr.Lastwave at an Indian restaurant by name Yoga stew owned by our friend Ksu. I asked the doctor what makes the doctor come out on such a busy Monday, and he tells me that he came here to buy couches. Ahhh Doc! You enjoy ‘spychology’ Nice way to impress ladies eh with your ‘stastichicks’! The doctor winks and I think this man would never be old! Dr.lastwave always said that silence is his major weapon., no wonder outside his consultancy room he would been normally seen at malls and often watching ‘The silence of the Lambs’ I ask the doctor, hey you meet all kinds of people with strange problems, and how do you keep your sanity levels intact? Doctor says that he has a way with it since long. While munching on Butter-Panner-Masala-Dosas, we had a hearty laugh and when I ordered Starbucks coffee the doctor had a strange laugh. When asked for the reason he told me that recently he had a strange patient with some amazing family problems and this was a singularly funny case that ever came in his career. Now I know that he would never tell me the name of the patient, due to confidentiality - still, I was interested to know what the case was. When I prod him further, Dr.lastwave says ok Kai! Let’s name the patient as Mike so that I can keep the person identity a secret. I nod in affirmative. You know Kaizen, it was cold afternoon and Mike enters my office. This man is in his early 40’s just another American dude with unwashed denim and A T-shirt that has Bill Clinton & Monica’s cartoon faces. Initially, he is reluctant to speak but soon when I question him, I come to know that he has some peculiar family problems. To make Mike comfortable I ask him weather he wants to have tea or coffee and he says it would be ok if he can have starbucks coffee. So I order it anyway. When Jules brings the coffee, Mike again asks me if he can add a shot of brandy in the coffee. I was quite shocked but thought that may ease him a bit. Mike starts to add more of brandy and then takes the gulp and after some time he starts to cry. I was quite puzzled at this strange man and thought to give him time. When I question him more, about his wife he says his relationship with his wife is great but yet there is family problem. Then what is the problem? He cries more and then says there is a strange problem concerning relationships…just give me time. After a good five minutes when he does not speak up I tell him Hey mike its ok every family has problems I am here to help you and unless you don’t speak about it how would I know? Lets simplify it…this puts mike in such a frenzy and then he reveals and goes on to say…something unimaginable Please listen to my situation that I am into. A few years ago I met a young widow by name Amanda with a grown up daughter by name Amy and me and Amanda got married. So that makes Amy my step daughter. I never know but my Pa Tyson loved my step daughter Amy and to my surprise Amy too fell in love with my father Tyson. Later, my father Tyson married my stepdaughter that is Amy. That made my stepdaughter Amy my stepmother and my father Tyson became my stepson. Also my wife Amanda became mother in law of her father in law that is Tyson. Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother - Amy had a son name Mojo. This boy was my half brother because he was my father’s son, but he was also the son of my wife original daughter which made him my wife grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half brother Mojo. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son name Sunny. Now the sister of my son my mother in law, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother in law of my child whose stepsister is my father’s wife. I am my stepmother’s brother in law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my fathers nephew and I am my own grandfather and you think this is simple?????????? I had the heartiest laugh about this strange case and if this was not enough Dr.Lastwave reminds me of another common person we know by name Shubanker also called as Shub from Indi Xeon Street. So I ask the doctor ‘yap whatever happened to Shubbie?’ and the doctor says Kaizen, another cold afternoon I was quite free and watching planet of the apes TV series. Unexpectedly a visitor comes to my secretary Jules and declares that he knows me and wants to see me. So I tell Jules to send him in. I am surprised to find Shub. He just comes in with a sad face and falls on the couch and tells me… Do I need to call you Doctor here or just by the name Lasty? I tell him if its for counseling then we better have a professional attitude, as you know Kaizen how Shub is – very unpredictable. OK doc! I have a strange problem! Please go on, and Shub makes another unpredictable request to me…he asks, so Doc all Looney people come here, all psychos, mad people right? I tell him go on with the purpose of the visit. Shub looks up as if he is trying to explain something very important and then abruptly declares Hey Doc! Can you make me a split personality? I was quite amused and ask him are you drunk or something Shub? Shub says No I am not drunk or joking Doc! Can you make me a split personality? I ask him do you know what a split personality is. Oh come on Doc! Let’s not go into all those theory I want you to make me a split personality OK! I ask him why you want to be a split personality. He looks hard at my face and then says Oh Doc because I am bored with myself and I am lonely as ever! Ha Ha ha! So Doc! You were watching ‘Planet of the Apes’ when Shubbie paid a visit to you. You Bet! Kaizen and you know the missing link that Darwin forgot in evolution of spices…ha ha the missing link between humans and apes may just be our good old Shubbie!!! What would happen if guys like Mike and Shub don’t exist ha ha ha! After the meeting with Doctor I had other things to attend to. I bid adieu to doc and can’t help to remember a line from one of the plays that went like… It’s not necessary to talk sense, because non-sense has its own sense and very few sensible people have the sense to sense non-sense in sensible way.