Wednesday, June 27, 2007

A classic Love story: When Hills seem young

She went out without showing any emotions to the surprised nun. She walked painfully towards the pine woods that lead to a lonely road with a dignity on her face that is reminiscent for old women in early twilight of her life and she stood still with a red sweater clasped in her trembling hands. She sat there and wanted to cry slowly but steadily…she felt someone said “You are beautiful”. The tears could not come from her eyes as they came in her youth.

She saw a cat passed by and then she quickly rose up…she called the cab.

Tracy Frank is 52 years old or so the youngsters in Royal Rhythm Music store say. She feels she is already in her sixties. She felt old when she turned 50 and gave all the hopes for a companion in life. 

She was a loner to re-read the same old Victorian romantic novels. To keep life going she works in Royal Rhythm at a mall at Kunoor, a hill station in Ooty.

After her office hours she would read a little, watch cartoons on television or listen to old gramophone and knit sweaters for kids. She found pleasure to knit sweaters and gift to children.

Last two years, she never glanced in mirror for more then a minute. Anyway she thought that people neither took interest in her nor found her pleasant. The owner of Royal Rhythm had known Tracy’s husband Mr. Frank and he kept her as employee - a goodwill gesture. She was put in section of classics DVD’s. 

It was the last month that Tracy would look into the mirror often and smile to herself as she got ready to her store. She would wear her old dresses again and smile unknowingly. Even her walk had a musical quality. She would listen to romantic numbers in her Murphy gramophone, or even sit through a Tom Cruise movie on HBO. She laughed all by herself when in one of her novels she read that to become old is to be girl like.

There was an pleasant looking old man in his 60’s who use to frequent Royal Rhythm store often and would try to engage Tracy in conversation though monosyllabic. He was rather tall, slim and almost saint like. To her he looked like Martin Scorsese. She found it rather unusual because whatever films she would suggest, he would buy them instantly. It was on her birthday that the first changes in her personality came. The old man came to the store in a rather upset mood to return “Gone with the winds” DVD and the store owner told him to talk to Tracy. 

Tracy had an argument with Jack Alter, who came to return the DVD and desperately wanted to see this film. He wanted another copy of the same film but that was the last copy. However, the old man took “Life is beautiful” DVD. While going, he put his hat off to her just like old English days. 

She lowered her eyes to Jack and smiled while he went out, he bowed again. The owner of the shop smiled too with other youngsters and Tracy went back to her section of classics.

As with her routine, Tracy woke up 6:30 in the morning, clean the fire dust and open her window. She felt the mist was rather attractive as sunlight made its way from tree leaves. She went to the garden sipping hot cup of zafraan tea and admired the scenery. 

A thought ran her mind. She had “Gone with the Wind” VHS tape with her. She went to her store room and searched old records and found the tape. If the old man ever came she would gift this to him. At 10:30 she was at the store. The owner of the store rather smiled to her and told…

”Guess who is waiting for you?” Tracy knew it was Jack but yet she asked him who is it. When she went to the store, she found Jack in his suspenders, and brown trousers bowing to her while taking his hat off. She smiled and went towards him. 

“May I help you?”

“Ah Yes, actually the shop owner says you are in charge of classics section and I had no other choice but to wait for you miss…? 

“You can call me Tracy and you are Mr. Alter right?” 

While talking to him she felt the same uneasiness and yet the attraction that she felt on her first date way back in late 60’s. Jack had that saintly face and pure innocent eyes and she could not resist making a flicker of eye contact while showing him old classics. Jack with his evergreen smile and a twinkle in his eye would just follow her and take the DVD’s of old movies recommended by Tracy.

It was almost half an hour and she gave him 14 DVD’s. He paid the bill at the counter. But his eyes were smiling and stealing the glances of Tracey. Tracey felt rather uncomfortable when someone checked Shakira’s Hips don’t lie number on a top volume. She wanted to go to him and give the VHS tape but somehow she was not confident to go towards him. Jack put his hat on and went out of store. 

At seven, she did not feel like cooking, and just put instant noodles for supper. She went to her cabinet and took the wine bottle to fill. Jack is in love with me! She knew its for sure because of the fact that she gave 12 DVD’s of old classics but the remaining two were Bruce Lee film “Enter the Dragon” and “The Godfather part 3” why would Jack buy such films? And why would he smile again and again?

The next day Jack did not turn up. Tracy felt sad she was always looking at the entrance door and she thought that she would present the VHS to him. In the evening, she thought it’s stupid to dream of a man even if it’s a man of her own age. She also thought that Jack is from London and it would be natural for an old gentleman to be put up in his best manners. 

Tracey was in her section when she felt the need to look on her left side. To her pleasant surprise she saw Jack smiling. She stood up and was silent. Jack too would not speak for some moments and then he asked…

”Would you not show me some Classics?” 

“Did you watch some?” she asked…

“Uh huh…Yes but I was passing this way and thought if….” 

Tracy went to her bag and gave him “Gone with the wind” VHS. 

“I am not sure if you have a Video Cassette player but you can keep this VHS”. Jack gleamed with happiness. His eyes were childlike and he could not stop touching her hand to say thank you but realized it would be inappropriate gesture. 

“Would you show me some other DVDs err I mean to say other then classics?” 

“Why not, you can go to that just released section and someone will show you as I am in charge of only classics sections and I am afraid I do not know current DVDs” she would wanted to show him but her knowledge of movies confined to oldies.

“Oh, actually I would appreciate if you show me as those young ones rather force me to buy things…” Tracy would find this rather silly but she went to just released section and would silently stand. The other guys there knew what’s happening and they went to classics stand. 

Both Tracy and Jack were smiling and it was a pleasant sight to watch. In the end the old man had “Mission Impossible 3” “Final Destination 4” “Exorcist – the beginning” “Die Hard 4” and even “Chinese Kamasutra”. Tracy was silent and she looked at the mirror to see herself and adjust her silky white hairs.

“You look beautiful…just like Kat”

Tracy looked at Jack’s face “I beg your pardon, you mentioned Cat?” “Apologies, I meant Katherine Hepburn”

Tracy went to the billing counter and stood at the door. Jack took the DVDs and bowed to her.

In the evening, she wanted to knit a sweater for Jack. She wanted it red in colour and for some time she started to knit and then she prepared the meal which her late husband cherished. She light the candle while soft instrumental music was filling the air. She knew Jack liked her. It was years that any man called her beautiful so what if Jack compared her to Katherine Hepburn. While cleaning her dish, she looked at her reflection...”Meeooowww” she smiled and said to herself “Sweet dreams Jack…Good night Kat”

Too fast too furious” “Harry Potter” “American Psycho” “Close encounters of the third kind” “Crash” “Snakes on the plane” “Hannibal rising” were the DVD’s Jack bought today. 

No wonder, neither Jack/Tracy nor people at the store minded. This time Jack was sneezing and apologizing to her again and again. Tracy would smile and say never mind again and again and the youngsters in store would smile and look elsewhere. It was quite a moment when Jack did not have his handkerchief and has to borrow hers. She showed him the door while he bowed to her. 

In the evening she was smiling to herself and knitting the sweater. She wanted the evening to end and morning to begin as early as possible. 

The next morning she went to store before it opened. She stood at the doorway when her heart skipped a bit. Exactly opposite to her Jack stood with the same smile that made her feel beautiful. A sudden urge went inside her and she walk towards him. 

“Good morning Mr. Alter how’s the day?” 

Jack put his hat up and bowed to her. “Well, it’s as bright as you are” both of them smiled rather informally as this was the first time they met outside the store.

Before they knew both of them started to walk. Jack asked her if she is getting late to her work place and she said its ok. This was probably the first time she did not go to store in last 2 years. She was allowed for a day off. 

They were walking besides church and Tracy felt the last time she visited the church was with her husband. She kept quiet. Jack was sensitive towards her as he knew what she might be thinking. Maybe it’s the wisdom, maybe its intuition to understand women when a man is in the age of 60’s. 

Both had coffee and were formal to each other. Jack told her that he lives besides the church and asked her where her home is. Both never mentioned their past life. Both kept the dignity of this first date and a new growing relationship to formal level. 

Tracy wanted the time to stop but then Jack wanted to leave downtown as he had an appointment with his doctor. Before going Jack presented Tracy with white flowers. For Tracy this was a different experience. She lived in Kunoor for the last 28 years and suddenly the ancient hills seem new to her. 

The fresh air of Kunoor in this clouds clad hill station felt a new breath in her. She felt lively. She looked everywhere and smiled like a tourist and started to walk towards the store.

Tracy returned to music store a good two hours late but nobody even questioned her and everybody behaved rather normally. 

In the evening she skipped her zafraan tea wanted to finish the sweater as it was half done. Late in night, she opened her old dresses and ironed them. She felt that she really loved Jack. He was sensitive, uncomplicated, introverted, wise, warm and he was funny which he never know. Maybe she would tell him all that someday or maybe she won’t as she wants the romance to live longer before it dies.

It was Saturday. On Sunday she would not be going to store as it’s closed. She thought to finish the sweater. 

Monday arrived but Jack did not. She waited the whole day for him to turn up. She actually kept some romantic DVD for him on pretext to speak to him more.
She went to her home and had nothing to do. 

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday - no sight of Jack. She even finished the sweater. A few months back Tracy was an old lady and now she would ask herself why is she behaving like a teenager? Why she is restless. She came daily with sweater to present it to jack. She would come to the store before time and leave late expecting Jack to turn up but nothing of that sort happened. 

It was Friday. Tracy could not sleep in peace and woke up at 5 in the morning. She thought that she would go early to Jack’s place. At 8 A.M she went to the place Jack mentioned and asked some locals about an old man name Mr. Jack Alter. 

Someone told them that he lives near 5th lane across in a white building to the right of church. She went to the bungalow and a nun opened the door rather curious. 

Tracy introduced herself and told her that she intend to meet Mr. Alter. The nun told her to come in and with a sad face told her that Jack passed away on Wednesday.

Tracy was numb she could not believe her ears. She again asked is that an old man in his 60’s? The nun took him to his room.

His photograph was hanging with his belongings along with wrapped DVD’s that were never opened. There were some flowers to be presented to someone. 

“Bro. Patrick says he was challenged with blood cancer, amazingly last three weeks he kept good health and was rather upbeat, somebody said he was in love…but all of a sudden on Tuesday he got ill and lord …” tears came to nun’s face

“Where is he buried?”

“Back side…near the pine trees…” cried the nun 

“Thank you” She went out without showing any emotions to the surprised nun. 

She walked painfully towards the pine woods that lead to a lonely path with a dignity on her face that is reminiscent for old women in twilight of her life and she stood still with a red sweater clasped in her trembling hands. She sat there and wanted to cry slowly but steadily…she felt someone said

“You are beautiful”. The tears could not come from her eyes as they came in her youth. 

She saw a cat passed by and then she quickly rose up…she called the cab and went straight to her home. She closed the door and took the white flowers to the bed and cried silently. Tracy wanted to remember everything about Jack maybe she wanted to relive those moments. 

She never knew when she got sleep.

6:30 the next morning she woke up. As usual she did her household work. She looked at her husband picture. Something made her strong. Life for women who has seen 52 winters makes her vulnerable and yet in such tender moments strong as she has seen both sides of life the happiness and the pain that comes with it.

“I will miss you Jack” she told to herself looking into mirror. 

At 10:30 she was at Royal Rhythm store.

She requested the owner that she would for some days not stand in classics section. She was in just released section.

A teenager walked in. “Xcuse me do you have the Martin Scorsese latest movie for which he got an Oscar?”

“Don’t you remember the name son?” 

“Err yes… its some…Departed or something like it”

Children humor for grownups

Do we find many women & men who have the frankness, innocence and honesty that children have? It’s not the kind of humor where one slips on a banana and people laugh, it’s not the humor where people laugh at themselves (Now it’s become a fad, that if one can joke on oneself, they have sense of humor) In public schools today, the teacher is afraid of the principal; the principals are afraid of superintendents; the superintendents are afraid of the school board; the board is afraid of the parents; the parents are afraid of the children; and the children are afraid of nobody! On one hand we find children with utmost naiveté and on other we find them with the brutal slapstick repartee. Sometimes children just say something and that makes a good joke and many other times they come up with simple, honest answers that tickle your funny bone. So read on some short ones on children and see where your childhood is! The math teacher had written a number with a decimal point on the blackboard and to show the effect of multiplying by ten, had rubbed out the decimal point. “Now, Sameer where is the decimal point?” “On the duster miss!” “Good gracious!” Shouted the teacher. “I ask you a simple question! What’s a fortification? And nobody knows…this is real bad. I want you boys to try” all the boys sat mum. The teacher became angry and pointing towards a boy said. Tell me will you what’s fortification? The boy slowly got up and said “twice twentification sir” The teacher was trying to popularize arithmetic by bringing home the examples to the students. “Now, if you had five rupees in one pocket and ten rupees in the other, what would you say you had?” “The wrong pants” replied the boy. Teacher: Give an example of hypocrite Student: A boy who goes to school with a smile on his face. Mom: Am I crazy if I talk to myself? Girl: No but you are when you listen. A ten year old boy was asked to spell the word straight. He spelt correctly. Then his teacher asked: “what does it mean?” The kid replied “without soda and water” The little boy got separated from his father in a crowd and told a policeman he was lost. The policeman asked: “What’s your father like?” “Wine and women” replied the kid. The younger kid returned home from school one day and said that he had fallen down during recess and grazed his knees and elbow. “Didn’t you cry?” questioned the mom. “No” he replied bravely “The bell rang and there was no time” Schoolboy’s left arm was badly inured and he went to doctor and asked him to bandage the right arm. Doctor: Bandage the right arm? Why?? Boy: You don’t know school children they will attack the bandaged arm. Grandpa: who is the most popular girl in your school? Girl: last term it was Eliza as she gave us all measles. The scene in the movie was tensed and audiences were enthralled. Suddenly the hero slaps the heroine followed by dead silence. A young voice in the hall: Why doesn’t she hit back like you do Mommy?” “What happened why are you crying?” A mother asked the little son. In between the sobs he replied: “Daddy was driving a nail in the wall and he hit his thumb with hammer” “That’s nothing to cry about you silly. Why didn’t you laugh?” “I did” the boy replied. “Come out and play” “No I can’t” “Why?” “If I don’t watch dad, he won’t complete my homework”

A lesson in Salesmanship

When I was student of Business Management we were told to read books on marketing and salesmanship. You know, reading case studies in aforesaid subjects we use to evaluate different marketing and sales strategies. In competitive market, now a day’s many marketing strategies are applied to sell the product and services. Below given incident is one of the street smart salesmanship. At Mumbai stock exchange a tie clad salesman stops an investment banker and tells him “Gentleman, would you prefer to buy a toothbrush for 50 Rupees?” “What a toothbrush for 50 Rupees! No way… you looting people with that amount” The salesman exclaims “Hmm… what about a home made cake for just one Rupee?” The banker thinks this is the new way for marketing and he gives one rupee and buys the cake. Just when he takes the bite of the cake he screams and spits it out. “Eeekkkk…what the hell is that? It taste like cow dung” “Well it is…now kindly tell me if you prefer to buy toothbrush”

Chatting addiction - Are you becoming “online” deviant personality?

Reading academic psychology has been fascinating for me over last couple of years. 

It happened when I was brainstorming with my various stories and I wanted to explore characters that are original, complex, provocative, revengeful, lonely, and frustrated and yet in normal life they look absolutely sane. 

 I must admit that my grades in the field of science were never great. In fact, I was just average student in science. 

But when I was writing story of a multi personality disorder type I realized human depths, a kind of insight that I would not have known or the world that exists about deviant behaviors. 

I started to read text books on psychology, the basics and then I went to library to see books that are very old and to my fascination I came to know a different world. 

Sometimes I see virtual world (Chatting) too quite amusing. I find that what I have read in those psycho books, I find such personalities (here Ids) some of the best examples. But you may think excuse me what the hell is this article about and why am I reading it? Yeah! Why you’re reading it in first place! 

Well you may just skip it because there is nothing funny that you’re going to read in this long article. What you’re going to read requires a little bit of your time and patience. By the end of this unfinished article you will know 

1. What kind of deviant ids are online and how you can understand them. 
2. You will also know by your own conscience how much time to spend for chatting 
3. You will know why you should not allow virtual world to take over your real world. 

 If one has a behavior problem, in western countries they immediately are taken to doctor and then if anything is “not just right”, they take counseling or they lie on a couch. But what if one has shunned real life and sits in front of computer and spends lots of time on chatting with many ids? You get me? 

I am sure you got me and if you did not, let me be clearer that suppose you or you know someone who is “addicted” to chatting on internet with his or her “ids”. 

Is that online person behavior normal? 

That’s what you’re going to read about. 

That’s because over the years I see many of Ids who are frequently online have patterns of such behaviors that are not good indications for their “real” life. As I said over the years, I have known many of them intimately and over the time I found out that what the attitude they reflected in say year 1, or year 2, in year 4 they actually did that in real life. 

Below given are some of the characteristics of such behaviors who “acted” virtually and then after some years in real life they lived what they actually did online. 

Unstable intense interpersonal relationships. Severe mood shifts. Lack of clear sense of identity. Chronic feelings of emptiness, loneliness and boredom. Frequent and inappropriate displays of anger. Impulsiveness Efforts to avoid real world Consider the below given chats that some people have told me and you will know what they mean when they spend time online chatting. 

I have not taken names of ids and have edited their words to conceal the real people. Below are some of the things those net chatting addicts told me...

 “I am not suicidal or self damaging anymore and I will live in real world but it’s a frightening place and I am not sure about it as spending time online was much safer but I have to be normal all over again” 

 “I have not switched on the computer for last 10 hours but there is emptiness, loneliness and I don’t know what my friends are doing right now, but when I am online its all the same sometimes I am so confused that I don’t know what I am feeling and who the hell I am” 

 “Nobody is sure of online relationship turning in real, but I had so many heartbreaks that I take refuge in online relationships, I don’t know where else to go but the problem is I always end up spending whole of my time on net that it affects my real world”

 “I am going through temporary phase of insanity as I have had another fight with my lover and he ignored me, he blocked my email to his mail and he is the only one I had consistent relationship online for whole year and now I don’t know what to do” 

 “I live a double life, the thing called love, that I can’t get in real life I have tried to do in virtual one but now I escape real life to go into virtual one” 

 The aforesaid on a certain level look pretty normal to a regular chatter. It may look funny to a non chatter but anyone who spends more then 4 hours online and if they are saying the aforesaid, then it’s a red light. 

Let’s look into the kind of virtual “personality” ids 

 1. The endless search of Mr./Ms.Right id. 

What starts as curiosity and harmless flirting on net over a period of time gets real for the chatters and they are subconsciously in endless search of their partners. I know some old people who are in their 40’s and 50’s who hide their age to be just like teenagers and stick to net to chat with young ones for hours and hours together. As it is the virtual person has a fancy id, what they don’t know is that they are behaving real and sometimes they act out their imaginations to as trivial as some romantic film they might have seen in college days. When they can’t get love in real life, they actually put a mask online and satisfy their dreams online wasting hell of a lot of time. It starts with normal hours but then it takes a nasty turn where they realize that they are constantly chatting with their online partner’s day in and night out. 

A thing to be understood here is the real issues that they had in their real life, often happen to them online too once the relationship shine is taken off after a period of time. So, after their romantic sessions, and even cam to cam sessions, such chatters again experience the same problems, unstable intense personal problems. Mood swings, frequent outbursts, with attitudes that shift from dependency, isolation, and avoidance. Once the fights occur the chatters are in invisible mode or they change the ids to come in other ids to “spy” on their lovers. And in normal cases it’s with both the ids hence partners change and the endless search of Mr./Ms.Right continues and chatting continues. What a waste of time if the same energy went in real world. 

In real life the real partners accuse each other of chatting and negligence whereas on virtual world they are totally changed to sensitive, caring, intelligent, wise and spiritual lovers! Ha and for the singles, why waste time on net to find Mr. Right or Miss. Right when you know in your brain that one in a million case is just not with you! 

 2. Radical mood shifts id. 
While chatting this is the id you will encounter often. This kind of id has no permanent online friends. This kind of id is the one which you encounter where you can’t chat with consistency. On a given day the person may behave rather upbeat and just after an hour, would go to extreme levels of apathy, instability, marked shifts from normal mood to depression lasting for hours or for few days. 

This kind of id is typically blaming id and an apt example of perfect irresponsible behavior. On a deeper level one can know this kind of id when chat sessions go for possible 4th or 5th online meetings where real personality comes up that is akin to self pity, unproductively leading to depression. Normally I have encountered this kind of ids in older age groups of people who are above 40. 

Alcoholism and drug abuse, negligence by their spouse may be the real cause for the same. 

 3. The Raging Bull Id. 
This is the id you will encounter in main chat rooms. 
The behavior of person with this id is that they are often abusive without any reason due to their own frustrations and mood swings. 

Typical characteristics of this personality or id is they have intense anger, lack of control, frequent display of anger, frustrations and care a damn attitude towards moral issues with unpredictable behavior. 

The anger in main room comes from opposite sex, or another id with good morals, or even sparked by trivial offence that was supposed to be taken by a little sense of humor. On your 4th or 5th chat session one can realize that underneath that personality or id lies a person who has fear from the threat of disappointment and rejection or abandonment. This kind of id has experienced past rejection in their real life and sometimes they may even fear intimacy. 

If another id wants to befriend them on one minute they will be open and next totally shut off with their angry outbursts. In real life too they give their vent of anger to their loved ones. 

 4. Who am I? 
Id This kind of id has extreme self image concept, sexual orientation, failed career, abnormal selection or choice of type of friends and values desired. 

But "Who am I" ids are akin to marked and persistence identity disturbances manifested by uncertainty Some chatters instead of taking chatting as social conversation, would “live” their life “imagined success” or “imagined happiness” in virtual world. They may consider themselves or their ids as extremely intelligent, attractiveness, or even sensitivity to opposite sexes. 

This is the kind of id you will come across when they constantly tell you how superior they are in their lifestyle and right thinking modes. I know one id that use to “teach” me how to succeed in life and later on take the credit that “thought” me secrets of success. 

Phew! On another level you will encounter the same id who would some day admit to you that they make a dumb mistake and then for hours they would say how stupid they are. At this level the opposite chatter may get an impression that the id is “opening up on human level” but that would just be a mistake. Because the next chat session the same id will be pepped up to again unfold some intellectual drama of superior self esteem. This kind of id is typically “needing to prove themselves again and again” kind of personalities. This kind of behavior pattern is more in females because self esteem to them is achieved when they impress others and they go out of their way to please others and feel they are being loved and they in turn love themselves. 

In real life, one would find such ids neglected by their partners. It would also be the case where one of the partners is overtly educated and has no career in real life and turn to chatting while the less educated partner is bringing the dough. A constant lie not only in virtual world but in real world is key mark in their life. When their home people ask what they do all the time on net, they would answer that they are surfing some good web site but in reality they are wasting time on chatting for more then 4 hours. 

 6. Big bore id 
Do I need to say anything for that kind of id? Well yes! Boredom is common in 99.99% of human beings in the world and I presume it’s even more online.

 Boredom and loneliness is the major problem area and also the most studied subject in psychology. But what if that is affecting a person online? 
They actually started chatting to avoid regular feelings of emptiness in their daily life. They motivate themselves and find ways to be able to spend online time and make an id to celebrate all their time including birthdays, anniversaries, new years, and what not. 

They are very consistent with their online routines so much so that a normal chatter who visits a regular room will know that at this particular time that id will always be online. Prolonged hours of chatting actually in long run make them impulsive in real life, lack of patience to keep up with real world, disappointing relationships, and self destructive acts. It will result in existential angst. 

The need to fill the void or emptiness will become more and more intense with frequent outbursts, alcoholism and existential crisis. The big problem is they would fear real world and feel safe in virtual world. They just have nothing to do in real world. An interesting thing to know is they even hate internet besides hating themselves as they are not able to do anything. 

 7. Gender changing id 
I know some of you might be laughing. On a normal level this is the id that is temporary because if one meets such id, one cannot establish online relationship as truth will be out. 

I recall once a feminine id gave me private message and then invited me to view her cam. I could not say no hence the face was good and the person was keeping her fingers below the nose. 

She had long hairs and good eyes so later, the id removed fingers from face and I found a moustache! It was funny and I had a good laugh. But to this level its ok to have fun on net and no ill feelings. But I know many people who change their ids frequently to be like opposite sex and they actually chat like one. 

In the real world we hear cases of cross dressings and gender changes but it would be shocking to know that some ids over a long period of time feel happy to be “playing” a role. 

One of my Muslim friend who I know personally has for two years been in a female id and he is a man of 42 years. I found that to be abnormal as I ask him what fun you get on chatting and behaving like that. He just says that he feels good when he makes female id and many males in main room give him private messages. 

Be careful with such ids. They are not only playing with your emotions but they actually post your data of private chats to other public forums. The aforesaid ids are for those that affect even your chatting experiences not to your pleasant liking. But what is the normal mode of chatting then? It’s ok in moderate measures to “blow your lid off” or be angry for some time. 

But if it is on a regular basis and it has become a long, prolonged habit, then one is not only distanced from real world but in the virtual world the person goes deeper and deeper and then only to realize that being a chat addict was nothing but sheer waste of life. Chatting becomes addiction and if not controlled years and years of life will be wasted. 

Youngsters will waste their youth and old fellows who think they are “virtually” young will lose the respect of their family members. One or two hours of chatting is just ok but if it goes for more then four hours consistently over years then it is the first sign of starting to be virtually a deviant personality. The only problem is the person or id does not know how much deviant he or she is. 

 For others who want to quit chatting, one has to understand that change is very important and self discipline is needed. A net addict will refuse to change as change is the real hard work. In order to change, the person must first “Self assess” as to where he or she stands. 

What will he or she gain by facing monitor daily? What are the reasons to be net addict? The change is best initiated with self assessment of own attitudes and goals in life. 

One must recognize current position of real life and understand in what direction modifications should be made. 

It tells you where you are and how far you will go virtually or in real life. How much amount of seriousness is needed in internet and how much in real life responsibilities? 

 For people who want don’t want to be net addict will require to put some other activity instead of chatting and this will be real test of character but a habit that has taken years to form will take at least 1/10th of time to deform. 

The new habit or hobby one starts should start with good intentions and become natural as old habit. One has to start a passionate hobby or devote time to something more interesting then chatting. For others who don’t want to quit chatting and be virtual all the time, well best of luck as I said earlier this article is still not complete and I still have many characters to add. 


Know thyself

Friends many of you know this short story and yet I would start my topic for today with this one. Many of you who know can skip the next two paragraphs but some of you who don’t may find this a good read. On a Sunday noon, father was busy reading his newspaper but was constantly disturbed by his restless son. His son was happy that his father is at home and would just go on questioning him on many things that came to his mind. So, his father thought for a moment and then a smile ran on his face. He took supplements of the newspaper and showed him the world map and then challenged him that he will tear the paper in many parts and he has to play the jigsaw game to arrange the paper in original form to get the world map. The son was amused by this challenge. Father tore the paper in pieces and then was relieved that he can spend rest of the noon peacefully and can probably have a siesta. After 7 minutes, the son proudly came to his father and to his amazement the boy had indeed arranged the jigsaw of torn papers. The world map was perfectly arranged! Quite taken back and with surprised expression he asked how the hell he could do it so fast like a pro. The son replied “its so simple pa! All I had to do was to turn the page and on back side there was a large photograph of man, I first arranged the man’s face and then just turned the paper to get your world map!” On one side we see a face and on other world! Well, that was a story. But when it comes to real life how many of us actually know ourselves? Solitude is a great company! Being alone and being lonely are different things. When I reflect the story that you’ve read I don’t understand it only as a story but I related this to Jesus Christ, Gautama Buddha, Laotzu and to many extent material many artists, poets, actors too. I am told that in bible there is a period in Jesus life when nobody knew where he went, what he did, where did he wander? When I read Buddha and then imagine his life and times there is a period where nobody saw of him, where he went? Consider some of the greatest thinkers, achievers in history and you will know that there is a certain phase in their life where nobody knows where they went. I understand Jesus Christ, Buddha when I see them as mere human beings. Because I think they were in first place human beings in flesh and blood. They had their own flaws too. And that’s great! What’s the point am I making now? Well come to think of it we all want to become what we really want to become but we don’t become what we want to become because of many impediments both psychological and material. When I read Jesus or Buddha I find that they spend great deal of time to understand themselves first and when they could understand the basics they went away to another place. In stories you will find that they went to forests. And it may be true. Why they went? Do they have “God” waiting for them there? Hell no! Never! They went there because they were Imperfect. They went away from their world to another world. Inner world. They were imperfect and they knew it. They knew it that they are not ready for the world. They knew it that they don’t know themselves. They knew it that psychologically they had many flaws. They knew it that they have many vices; they knew it that they have many emotions that are at extreme level and they have to balance it. You may be laughing while reading this but it may be true that if they felt like crying, they would not cry in society. If they felt like singing they would not sing in streets, if they felt like laughing they would not laugh and they could do all aforesaid when they are out of society. Who would watch them in jungles? Who would disturb them when they want to cry their heart out? When they want to howl and cry so much that no tear is left? Who will disturb them when they want to sing and laugh their heart out so much that no energy is left to do anything more? They laughed when they wanted to and they cried when they wanted to, they went into their past when they wanted to and they could live all those emotions all over again to satisfy or quench it so much that there was no thought left. There was no emotion left either good or bad. And they dropped their minds. They dropped their egos. Lord Mahavir has even termed karmas as material force. Imagine Lord Mahavir as human emptying his karmas in his solitude. What am I trying to say? That we all have to go to jungles? No…the real fact is I don’t know any human being who does not want to improve his or her life. Everyone wants to improve their standard of life but the kind of upbringing and conditioning that one has had over the years has given them deep-rooted psychological “knots” in their psyche. And one cannot improve if one does not become self-aware and remove the psychological knots. One cannot be knowing oneself if one does not know their vices, limitations, shortcomings and negative attitudes. In the world where everything happens over a click of mouse, are we getting so much material that we do not spend time to reflect who we are? We attend seminars on personality development and self-improvement to make us better human beings but in first place do those personality trainers who claim to make a better world fill a glass full of water? Nope. Real personality development will start when the layer of knots is removed and the glass is empty to be filled with positivism. Somebody ask Buddha what is knowledge? And he simply replied “that which comes handy” the same person asked him what is right knowledge? And he said “knowledge of self” Be your own Buddha! Know thyself.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Eat well and be healthy

(Take the medical advice from your doctor. Below given is just a guide about your health and diet)
HEADACHE? EAT FISH! Eat plenty of fish -- fish oil helps prevent headaches. So does ginger, which reduces inflammation and pain. HAY FEVER? EAT YOGURT! Eat lots of yogurt before pollen season. Also-eat honey from your area (local region) daily. TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA! Prevent build-up of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)! INSOMNIA (CAN'T SLEEP?) HONEY! Use honey as a tranquilizer and sedative. ASTHMA? EAT ONIONS!!!! Eating onions helps ease constriction of bronchial tubes. ARTHRITIS? EAT FISH, TOO!! Salmon, tuna, mackerel and sardines actually prevent arthritis. (fish has omega oils, good for our immune system) UPSET STOMACH? BANANAS - GINGER!!!!! Bananas will settle an upset stomach. Ginger will cure morning sickness and nausea. BLADDER INFECTION? DRINK CRANBERRY JUICE!!!! High-acid cranberry juice controls harmful bacteria. BONE PROBLEMS? EAT PINEAPPLE!!! Bone fractures and osteoporosis can be prevented by the manganese in pineapple. PREMENSTRUAL SYNDROME? EAT CORNFLAKES!!!! Women can ward off the effects of PMS with cornflakes, which help reduce depression, anxiety and fatigue. MEMORY PROBLEMS? EAT OYSTERS! Oysters help improve your mental functioning by supplying much-needed zinc. COLDS? EAT GARLIC! Clear up that stuffy head with garlic. (remember, garlic lowers cholesterol, too.) COUGHING? USE RED PEPPERS!! A substance similar to that found in the cough syrups is found in hot red pepper. Use red (cayenne) pepper with caution-it can irritate your tummy. BREAST CANCER? EAT Wheat, bran and cabbage Helps to maintain estrogen at healthy levels. LUNG CANCER? EAT DARK GREEN AND ORANGE AND VEGGIES!!! A good antidote is beta carotene, a form of Vitamin A found in dark green and orange vegetables. ULCERS? EAT CABBAGE ALSO!!! Cabbage contains chemicals that help heal both gastric and duodenal ulcers. DIARRHEA? EAT APPLES! Grate an apple with its skin, let it turn brown and eat it to cure this condition. (Bananas are good for this ailment) CLOGGED ARTERIES? EAT AVOCADO! Mono unsaturated fat in avocados lowers cholesterol. HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE? EAT CELERY AND OLIVE OIL!!! Olive oil has been shown to lower blood pressure. Celery contains a chemical that lowers pressure too. BLOOD SUGAR IMBALANCE? EAT BROCCOLI AND PEANUTS!!! The chromium in broccoli and peanuts helps regulate insulin and blood sugar. Kiwi: Tiny but mighty. This is a good source of potassium, magnesium, Vitamin E &fiber. It's Vitamin C content is twice that of an orange. Apple: An apple a day keeps the doctor away? Although an apple has a low Vitamin C content, it has antioxidants &flavonoids which enhances the activity of Vitamin C thereby helping to lower the risks of colon cancer, heart attack & stroke. Strawberry: Protective fruit. Strawberries have the highest total antioxidant power among major fruits &protects the body from cancer causing, blood vessels clogging free radicals. (Actually, any berry is good for you..they're high in anti-oxidants and they actually keep us young.........blueberries are the best and very versatile in the health field........they get rid of all the free-radicals that invade our bodies) Orange: Sweetest medicine. Taking 2 - 4 oranges a day may help keep colds away, lower cholesterol, prevent & dissolve kidney stones as well as lessen the risk of colon cancer. Watermelon: Coolest Thirst Quencher. Composed of 92% water, it is also packed with a giant dose of glutathione which helps boost our immune system. They are also a key source of lycopene - the cancer fighting oxidant. Other nutrients found in watermelon are Vitamin C &Potassium. (watermelon also has natural substances [natural SPF sources] that keep our skin healthy, protecting our skin from those darn suv rays) Guava &Papaya: Top awards for Vitamin C. They are the clear winners for their high Vitamin C content. Guava is also rich in fiber which helps prevent constipation. Papaya is rich in carotene, this is good for your eyes. (also good for gas and indigestion) Tomatoes are very good as a preventative measure for men, keeps those prostrate problems from invading their bodies Neelsyndrome : Sorry No cure for sure!!! ha ha ha

Punjab Exam paper!

This would be understood by Indians but others give "serious" answers
Click to enlarge

right foot forward

How Smart is Your Right Foot?
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't.
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.
I told you so .....And there's nothing you can do about it Make sure you pass this on to your friends...they won't be able to believe it either!! KEEP ON TRYING..........

counting test!

Optical illusion

Friday, June 8, 2007

ATM robbery how to avoid!

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse!!! For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321. The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to The robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you. This information was recently broadcasted on TV and it states that it is seldom used because people don't know it exists.