Sunday, January 17, 2010

NOW...this, this is!

It was - the very beginning of its being
In the vast unending darkness, most secured it lay
With closed eyes and forming soft clenched fist
The rhythms it heard – the throbbing of heart

Even before thinking would begin
It kicked - instincts got ready for survival
As coming time took over the being
Enormous light touched it's every tissue

The body would rebel with the light
The gasps of breath reverb with its own voice
Clenched fists and kicking the legs had begin
The “I” started to cry – it was the first emotional outburst with world

Rejecting every stimulus
To seek the darkness, it closed the eyes
Often smiling or crying in sleep
Only awakening to mother’s touch

To hear human lyrics, to curiously see
And to exist amidst chaos
Taking into new experience,
With time, the “I” took its gradual form

And for over 30 summers, the self got fatter
I thought I was growing, I was attuned
Being proud of mythical past, and little sure and curious to future
With those delusions, only few moments I really lived

In occasional moments, very rarely there were moments of ‘now’
Both darkness and light gave me the opportunity
For in darkness, rejection was everything to a point I became introvert
For in light, acceptance was everything to a point I became extrovert

For past – that, that was myth
For future – that, that will be
For now - living the moment as it is
And not as it should be

But lethargic habits suck you in
And after that I laugh at my own ego
To flirt with life, to exist in contradictions
Of amoral universe, the other self would express

For it takes honesty & courage to drop the veil
For it takes years to forget past
For it takes the need to be instinctive and forget time
For it takes a lot to give, to forget the trade of life

To get lost and have nothing to do with time
To exist in chaos and accept imperfections
To love, give & harness creativity and tap the source
To let go off a language, where thinking is waste of time

My father,

From womb to tomb “I” would still be the ego drugged for life
Yet, “I” would rebel to live the moment
Where “I” is forgotten unknowingly and the moment becomes one
For there is no time, space or me, NOW this, this IS

ask Thee!

((The solar eclipse effect?  having nothing worthwhile to do,  wrote aforesaid yesterday on papers and thought to type it here))