Sunday, August 29, 2010

Two little confused mischievous boys...

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

 The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.  The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.

 So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

 The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

 The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. 

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer.

 So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

 The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

 When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

 The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"

Monday, August 23, 2010

Excellent example of team work when...:))

A bunch of smart MBA students about to give their final paper just got nicely drunk & did not study. Next day morning remorse filled them & they thought of a brilliant idea of fooling their Dean to cover their absence. They painted their hands & dresses with oil & grease and with disheveled hair, they burst in the examination hall where the paper was going on. 

They painted a sob story of how their car developed a flat tyre the previous night on a desolate road & how they didn't get any help & had to rough out back to the campus which they reached just a few minutes earlier. 

They pleaded for a re-exam after a few days. The Dean said he was a reasonable man & he would give the re-exam after three days. The boys worked hard for the three days & went to the hall confidently. The Dean explained that since this was an extraordinary request, the four students will give the examination from four different halls, the question paper being the same. 

The question paper was given to the four students. It had 100 marks. 

The first question which had just 5 marks was simple. 

The second question which had 95 marks was: 

"WHICH TYRE??" 

That’s why..........Team work is essential !!! 

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Ethnic jokes of Tamilians, Malayalees, Sindhis, Maharastrians, Gujjus & Bengalis


TAMIL JOKES:

Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan? Comepalakrishnan.

What is the opposite of Subramnium Swamy? Subramanium Didn't See Me.
How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu? Ready...Steady... PO
What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?  Rangamannar Rangarajan.
What is the Tamil name for the tallest building in Japan ? Nikkumo Nikkado
(Will it or wont it stand?)
What is the difference between Kunnankudi Vaidyanathan and  Gandhi? One is a violinist, the other is a non-violinist!


MALAYALEE JOKES:
What do you call an amazing Malayalee? - Pheno Menon.
What do you call a dashing Malayalee? - Debo Nair.
What do you call a Malayalee drunkard? - Kutty Sark.
Why do they require 5 people for a Malayalee funeral? Four to carry the coffin and one person to carry the two-in-one.
Why did the Malayalee cross the road? To join the trade union on the other side.


SINDHI JOKES:
What do you call:
A god fearing Sindhi? Bhagwandas Godwani
A Sindhi painter? Sadarangani
A Sindhi chef? Papadmull Kukreja
A Sindhi electrician? Voltram Bijlani
A Sindhi milkman? Gopal Dudeja
A Sindhi pest control contractor? Khatmull Marwani
A Sindhi stripper working in New York ? Barbra Jhangiani
A Sindhi casanova? Prem Kissinchandani
A Sindhi fire-engine? Bhambhani
A Sindhi detergent? Neelam Rin-dani (Rin is a Detergent)
A Sindhi postman? Mailwani
A communist Sindhi? Karl Lal-wani (Lal for the red communist flag)
A fashionable Sindhi? Jogio Armani
A heroic Sindhi soldier? Hiroo Sipahimalani
A forgetful Sindhi? Bulo Bhulchandani
A fat Sindhi? Hathiramani
A downtrodden Sindhi? Nichani
A corrupt Sindhi? Chaipani 

A Sindhi fly? Makhija
What do you call a Sindhi with six knees : Sahani ( Shahaknee)
A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor? Thad-ani (Thud-ani)
A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor? Kriplani (Cripple-ani)
Why are a Sindhis nostrils big? Because air is free


MAHARASHTRIAN JOKES
What do you call a modern Maharashtrian?  Western Ghat.
What do you call a Maharashtrian tailor? Sadashiv.
Which Maharashtrians wrote the book 'Apartheid in South Africa ?' Dhaval Gore and Krishnakant Kale.
What did Bruce Lee say to the Maharashtrian? Tumhi Marathe, Aamhi Karate.

GUJJU JOKES:
Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film  was a woman? Because his name was 'Ben Kingsley.
Why does the Gujju go to London ? To see his Big Ben.
Why does the Gujju take a 2-in-1 to the bathroom? Because his mom said that water came out of the tape (tap)
Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.  (snacks)
What is a Gujju picnic called? A snake in the grass
What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES magayon? His son
failed in statistics.
Maro dikro Dubai gayo? My son drowned.
Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams? He wanted to
get cent-par-cent.
What do you call a knee less gujju ? Nilesh (Pronounced Nee-Less)

BENGALI JOKES:
An angry Bengali letter? Chitti-chitti Bong! Bong
A talkative Bengali? Bulbul Chatterjee
An outlawed Bengali? Kanoon Banerjee
An enlightened Bengali? Jyoti Basu
A stupid Bengali girl? Balika Buddhu
A Bengali marriage? Bedding
A Bengali voyeur? Keyhollo
A mad Bengali? In Sen (insane)
A dark Bengali who lives in a cave? Kalidas Guha
A perfumed Bengali? Chandan Dass
A Bengali goldsmith? Shonar Bongla
What's bigger than the Bay of Bengal ? The Bengali Ego
When does a Bengali sound like a dog? When he says Bow (wow)
Also when he bharks! (works)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

(S)HE


(S)HE...
She is the Language, he is thought
She is prudence, he is law
He is reason, She is sense
She is duty, he is right
He is author, she is work
He is patience, she is peace
He is will, she is wish
He is pity, she is gift
He is song, she is the note
She is fuel, he is fire
She is glory, he is sun
She is motion, he is wind
He is battle, she is might
He is lamp, she is light
He is day, she is night
He is justice, she is pity
He is channel, she is rover
She is beauty, he is strength